Back in May earlier this year, WC victory fresh in my mind, I decided I wanted to go watch a day or two of the upcoming Ind-Eng series in July. Looked up the respective websites for tix, only to realise I was a little late in my decision, and most days for most of the matches were all sold out already. My only feasible option was Day 4 of the Oval test match. And I thought – that’s not too bad. Day 4 of the final test. Who knows, with a little bit of luck I will probably end up watching India crush England and take the series 4-0..or 2-1..or whatever. You are free to laugh at me now, but admit it. No one, not even you, would have ever imagined India to be in the position it found itself on August 21st.

Cut to Day 4, 4th Test – India trying hard to stay alive in the Test and avoid a washout. Follow on is looming, hopes of watching Dravid and Tendulkar bat together gone too. Unless of course India start following on soon. The only thing to look forward to then is some good batting by Rahul Dravid. Ravi Shastri was loitering outside the stadium talking on his phone a few feet away from where I was standing with my group. He walked past with a “Enjoy the game, guys” comment. Yeah right. I told him as he walked away that the only hope here was a big innings by Dravid. He replied back, saying that if there was one person who looked up to this task in Team India, Dravid was it. And who am I to disagree with the “feelings” of Ravi!

So after watching the commentators as they went into the stadium (Wasim Akram – HOT!!), taking a tour of the ground, watching the players warm up at nets, and hounding a few of them for autographs as they returned to the pavillion (Sachin Tendulkar..woohoo!), I settled into my seat as the play started. The joy of what unfolded on that day then is something that not even the knowledge of imminent defeat could take away from me.

Here I present a few photographs taken that day at the stadium -

(ok, not really how I wanted the pics to be displayed..kindly bear while I try to fix this. For now, just click on the image to enlarge it and see my comments below the image

Update -Hmm, a little better now)

What's Kohli doing here??

He was the most serious about getting his batting right during the sessions, as is evident from the photo. But when I told him we were expecting him to dig in and score a 50 to save his team the blushes, he looked at me like I was a ghost or something!

The loudest applause, the most vocal appreciation of a shot well played, the most respect, for any Indian player, from the English is saved for this man.

Led to the field by their captain.

The Man walking in to save the day. Oh, and Dhoni too.

And we all rush back to our seats..and wait for the day's proceedings to begin..

At this point I realised that my camera’s battery was down to 1 bar out of 3. So I had to shut shop until it was The Moment. And hence, I only have Dravid’s pics here onwards…Also, the camera is now with a friend, as I would be busy cheering and clapping…

And here is where I got my money's worth..

Dravid raises his bat in acknowledgement to the standing ovation..

Yes Rahul, I know you knew the whole time where I was sitting

Rahul Dravid c Cook b Swann 159.

I was forced to change my mind a little bit after watching the videos once I got back. But I have been back and forth since then.

The evidence is compelling. But on the other hand it is, after all, NoTW’s evidence.

It is foolish to assume that match/spot fixing does not go on. But on the other hand, why hang someone without a proper investigation?

Proper investigation is not something you can expect from our worthy cricket administrators (regardless of nationality). But without that, and punishing the guilty, how do you begin to clean up the mess?

So where does that leave the average cricket fan like me?

With so many thoughts running through my head, I thought I would be able to pen down a long winded, well articulated post to express all of that. But it turns out that writing eloquent posts is not something I am particularly good at. So after 4 futile attempts in the last 3 days, I am doing the next best thing and making a list of all those thoughts instead, because frankly, I need to get this out of my system.

• 10 years ago, I suffered a massive blow to my belief system when it was revealed that Hansie Cronje and Ajay Jadeja were involved in match fixing. These were 2 of my favourite cricketers and I just could not believe that these guys could be involved in such a thing (specially Hansie). My only source of information then being newspapers and NDTV, not being net savvy enough to discover reports like this and not being cynical enough in general, I took all the proceedings at face value. With the guilty punished, I happily moved on with my life and my cricket, telling myself that it might not be perfect, but it is going to be ok. A cousin of mine would tell me that I am an idiot to still follow cricket so religiously and that I lived in “La La Land” (his words) if I still took everything that happened on the field at face value. But I ignored him of course and I never attempted to find out what sort of “investigations” had gone on in ’00 and how credible the punishments meted out were. Surely, living in denial is not an option now. (Please note PCB et al. DENIAL….NOT AN OPTION).

• I wonder why I feel so disgusted and angry right now when these spot-fixing allegations obviously don’t come as a surprise. Why do I feel betrayed when at the back of my head I sort of knew that this stuff happens all the time? I really don’t understand myself.

• It has been only 3 days, and I have resolved a million times, and then backed down, that I will never watch a match again, and stop maintaining this blog. Over reaction? Possibly. Do I see myself as actually going through with this? Maybe not. At the moment though, I don’t see the point in weighing in India’s chances in a match when player X might already have decided to go for 100 runs in his 10 overs or Player Y has decided to throw his wicket away. I don’t see a point in gloating when India wins or moping at a loss. I question India’s T20 triumph and I wonder whether India could have won the WC in 2003 after all if it weren’t for these bookies. After all, why should I believe that Indians are not involved?

*******

Onto a couple of articles that have appeared online, that rankled a bit.

First off, Geoff Lawson in Sydney Morning Herald.

The instant reaction after watching the investigative videos was – why would you, a cricketer with such potential, want to stake your reputation for some money? What’s with all the greed? What about ethics? Etc etc.

Geoff’s article’s first half was a reality check in that regard. Of course you idiot! (The idiot being referred to here is me). If someone is powerful enough to run such a racket, wouldn’t they go to any lengths to ensure that all this runs smoothly? Why wouldn’t they threaten players to do their bidding? And surely, I don’t expect these players to become martyrs in order to “uphold their morals” and do the right thing. Of course, if your family is under threat, you do what you are asked to. I would too.

The thing that does bug me is this part –

I will never condone any form of fixing, but we should consider that a cricketer might not be thinking of personal gain but of getting money to buy a generator for his village because they don’t have electricity.

Um, yeah. Let’s not get carried away, shall we Geoff? A player gets a decent amount (not over the top, but decent enough) as match fee. One might want to be a little patient in order to save money to buy things? You know, like us mere mortals do?

Next up, Dileep Premachandran in the Guardian. The crux of his article is neatly summed up by the tagline “Lack of legitimate earning opportunities draws jealous players into the hands of unscrupulous bookmakers”.

Honestly, the premise is very offensive. So basically, if I am a very very capable software engineer and Google doesn’t want to employ me and let me earn big bucks (assuming that Google is the only place where I can earn big money as a s/w engg.) for whatever reason, even as my other not-so-bright classmates do so, Dileep would totally understand if I started indulging in industrial espionage? What sort of a shithead logic is that?

Lastly, maybe I am a very hard hearted person, but I don’t get all the outpouring of sympathy for Mohd. Aamer. Assuming he is guilty of course, clearly he is an adult and should have a sense of what is right and what is not. Unless his family was under threat, he had a choice to say no. And he didn’t. If that means the end of a cricket career, well, then so be it. Clearly, having the potential to excel is just not enough in this world. There are thousands of people who can vouch for that.

Please do.

- Howardgate

- Yoyo MoYo indicating a return from “retirement” (they should come up with a whole new word for this state of “hibernation” Yoyo goes into every few months..)

- Issues galore for Pak on and off the field (losing a test match, captain resigning, general amusement via news items like this…link via Achettup on twitter)

- Chris Broad ignoring Aussie misdemeanors and reprimanding Asian players

- the whole Modi-IPL-BCCI saga

Do I hear you ask “So, what’s new?” Yeah, my point exactly…

What’s happening over the next 30 days?

Aus vs Pak – not worthy of any discussion

Bangladesh in England – yawn

Ind vs SL – unless the rain/run-fests turn into a semblance of a contest magically(or India is in a winning position due to some bizarre reason), count me out please!

Ind vs SL vs NZ – groan

Eng vs Pak – whatever!

Time to catch up on some reading…any WWII-related recos will be gratefully received

I wanted to write a detailed post on India’s chances, players’ forms etc but I haven’t had the time for that yet. So, instead, I will leave you with this appraisal by SP, this not-so-hopeful-of-India’s-chances post by Achettup (kinda how I feel as well) and Homer’s wise words on Twitter on why India should at least get to the semis -

small grounds.. spin… and the draw

Till later people. The match is getting interesting!

I mean I have to get back to my studies…

(Previous mini rant on the mind-numbing regularity with which these two have been playing each other here.)

Straight Points paid homage at BCC!, 3 Idiots style.

Paddlesweep didn’t like it when people said “No one deserved it more than Sachin”

There are loads of people claiming that if anyone deserved it, it was Sachin. I disagree. Not because he did not deserve it, just because saying such a thing oozes empathy towards the person in question. Sachin Tendulkar needs, nor wants any empathy, sympathy or any other relevant pathy.

GreatBong -

The old Sachin radiated heat. The new Sachin gives light.

But he still remains the sun.

Ayaz Memon @ Cricinfo Magazine -

If Tendulkar were to retire tomorrow, a long queue of the game’s greatest batsmen would await him near the dressing room: Hammond, Hobbs, Hutton, the three Ws, Richards, Gavaskar, Dravid, Sehwag, Ponting, Lara, Chappell, Miandad, et al. And at the head of this queue would be Bradman, first to shake his hand and say, “Gosh, you little bonzer, I would have loved to play an innings like that!”

Meanwhile, somewhere in London, I raised my glass in Sachin’s honour. And not knowing what else to add when so many have done such a wonderful job… in true BCC! style, I simply said “Thank You Sachin“.

(You may…nay…you must join the Facebook group here)

I was at the Nehru Stadium on 31/03/2001 when Sachin became the first batsman to cross 10000 runs in ODIs. How I wish I was in Gwalior today.

Congratulations Sachin. Congrats Team India. Congrats India!!

There is work to be done yet. A match to be won to make this innings truly memorable. But this is going to be one record to cherish all life long

…how sadness turned into rage on hearing the same old cliched quotes, on seeing the same old inefficient response to crisis…the whole “I cannot eff-ing believe this is happening”

…how bravely a few people fought, regardless of being ill-equipped to do their job

…how a few went above and beyond their call of duty to help those in need

…how life changed dramatically for a few, who lost people they loved

…the promises I made to myself, what I can do to play my part in ensuring this does not happen again.

To all who were affected by 26/11…I haven’t forgotten anything.

And on this special occassion, dear Silly M(a)id-on would like to say a few words to you all…

Ga!!

Ok, that was just a word..but she’s just one..what did ya expect?

On a serious note though, a few special mentions are in order-

Samir Bhaiya and his entire blogroll – all that reading got me started in the first place.

©hinaman and Gaurav – for the opportunities to go beyond Silly M(a)id-on.

Homer – for the kind words on and off the record (I mean on the blog and on gtalk )

Leela – for letting out the fangirl in me to the world!

Thanks to everyone who has read/commented/advised/inspired over the last one year. It has been a lot of fun. Don’t let it stop.